Abby Rose Counseling

Tag: mental health

Borderline Personality Disorder

What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

Borderline Personality disorder (BPD) is a personality disorder that affects a person’s ability to regulate their thoughts and behaviors. In order to be diagnosed with BPD you have to meet some or all of the following criteria:

  • Impulsive behaviors
  • Risky behaviors
  • Poor relationship skills
  • Self-destructive behaviors
  • Intense anger
  • Mood swings that are unmanageable
  • Grandiose thinking
  • Thoughts of suicide
  • Social isolation
  • Lack of personal identify
  • Intense fear of abandonment
  • Difficulty maintaining relationships
  • Feelings of general discontent

BPD can be caused by environmental, social and cultural factors. However, it is important to note that most people diagnosed with BPD have reported a history of trauma, abuse or major abandonment. There have also been studies that have shown a genetic correlation to BPD Diagnosis.

 

How does borderline personality disorder affect relationships?

People with BPD often lack an ability to maintain healthy relationships. People with BPD have an intense fear of abandonment, which makes them hyper sensitive in their relationships. They commonly feel like they are inadequate or not good enough, and will come up with ways to validate these irrational thoughts. Since BPD individuals have difficulty regulating their emotions, disagreements or fights in a relationship will be taken to the extreme.  BPD individuals are also quick to push others away and cut people out of their life due to their fear of abandonment.

 

How can you support a significant other with borderline personality disorder?

EDUCATION. BPD is often times very misunderstood. It is crucial that family and friends read about the disorder and educate themselves on what BPD is. Family therapy and support groups can also help support the entire family system.

 

What are some do’s and don’ts when it comes to being in a relationship with someone who has borderline personality disorder?

DO:

Openly talk about the disorder and how it negatively impacts the relationship

Explore how the disorder impacts both individuals in the relationship

Gain education and attend support groups or therapy together

Come up with a plan or strategy on how to address the negative impact of BPD on the relationship

Acknowledge that a healthy relationship is possible

 

DON’T

Give up on the relationship

Blame the person who is struggling with BPD

Don’t place shame or guilt on BPD individual

Use the Disorder as a scape-goat to all of your problems

Sweep the disorder under the rug

 

What are some signs you might have borderline personality disorder?

Inability to maintain relationships

Unable to maintain a stable job

All emotions feel unmanageable

Engaging in risky behaviors such as: self harm, unprotected sex, dangerous drug use

Drinking excessively, binging or purging behaviors

Struggling with personal identity

Pattern of pushing others away

Intense fear of being abandoned

 

BPD can be a complicated diagnosis but is very treatable when a person is motivated and willing to work on their symptoms. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) has been proven to be very effective in treating BPD individuals. Family therapy and support groups are also a beneficial way to address how the disorder is effecting family members and loved ones.

 

 

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Atypical Anorexia

What is Atypical Anorexia?

Sometimes referred to as an invisible battle, Atypical Anorexia often times gets overlooked due to the fact that it does not consist of a low body weight. However, the absence of low body weight does not make the disorder any less severe or serious.

 

Symptoms of Atypical Anorexia

  • Obsession with body weight, shape and size.
  • Restricting caloric intake
  • Establishing and following strict food rules and guidelines
  • Consumed by food and body image thoughts
  • Impairments in functioning due to restricting behaviors
  • Compulsive exercise
  • Physical symptoms that include: bruising, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, fatigue, irregular menstruation and slow heart rate.
  • Anxiety
  • Feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness
  • Difficulty regulating emotions

 

Dangers of Atypical Anorexia

  • Often goes untreated due to the absence of low body weight
  • Those suffering believe that are not worthy of help
  • Atypical Anorexia comes with thinking of “It’s not that bad” “I don’t need help” “I am not thin enough to have an eating disorder”
  • Absence of support from family due to lack of education

 

Seeking Help

The biggest obstacle to seeking help is fighting the belief that “It is not that bad”. When I am treating clients, who fit into the Atypical Anorexia diagnosis they constantly battle the idea that they don’t have any eating disorder or it is manageable. Helping them identify the ways in which they are struggling is key and aids them in increasing their motivation to change their behaviors and thinking.

If you or someone you love is struggling with Atypical Anorexia know that you are worthy of help and support. An eating disorder doesn’t “look” like anything! It’s the thought process and the behaviors involved that define an eating disorder- not your body weight.

 

Abby Bernstein LMHC is a mental health counselor in Boca Raton Florida specializing in the treatment of Anorexia, Bulimia, Binge Eating Disorder and Atypical Anorexia.

 

 

 

 

 

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5 Steps to Improve Body Image

How can I improve my body image? This is a question that I get asked quite frequently both in my practice and in my personal life. My answer is usually the same every time; body image can be changed when you are committed to changing it. The relationship with your body is based on your thinking patterns and the lens that you decide to look through.  It’s important to acknowledge that changing your body image outlook is very difficult and takes a lot of time and practice.  However, having a better body image can be done.  It takes commitment, support and hard work. By following these five steps you may begin to improve the relationship you have with your body.

1. Motivation

How motivated are you to have a better relationship with your body? How willing are you to challenge the negative thinking that comes along with having poor body image?

In order to change the relationship with your body you have to be willing and wanting to do so. Believe it or not, we are sometimes more comfortable hanging on to poor body image because we may be comfortable with this thinking or fearful to challenge it.

You can identify your willingness to change by looking at both the positive and negative effects of your current body image. When doing this activity, you can clearly see the toll that your negative body image has had on your mental health and sometimes even your physical health.

Motivation for change is key whenever you are attempting to challenge or change a behavior.  Explore and identify your current motivation to change the relationship you have with your body.

 

2. Identify

In order to make positive shifts in your body image, you need to identify where your current body image thoughts stem from. Identifying the core of these beliefs will help you to reframe and challenge negative ideals that you are holding on to. It is common that body image beliefs stem from childhood and adolescents. Family, peers, social media and experiences can all shape the relationship that you have with your body. Identifying the root of negative body image will help you gain awareness into the relationship that you have with your body. By identifying the root cause, you can target and challenge specific beliefs that you may have been holding onto through the majority of your life.

 

3. Accept

My favorite definition of acceptance is “the willingness to come into contact with a person’s whole experience.” To go deeper, when you have full acceptance you are not just acknowledging things, but willingly identifying difficult factors and inviting them to be part of your experience. This pertains to body image on so many levels.

One of the main aspects of having a healthy body image is giving up the idea that you need to change your weight or look a certain way. When you accept your body, you are acknowledging all of the emotions and thoughts that are attached to these ideas while also making a conscious effort to let them go. (AKA have a better body image.)  Acceptance plays a major role in shifting the relationship you have with your body. When you stop trying to change your body and accept it, you are able to appreciate your body for what it is instead of hating on it for what is isn’t. Which brings us to gratitude.

 

4. Gratitude

When we are caught up in negative body talk we tend to focus on all the things that our body does not do (or does not look like) and we tend to forget all of the things that our body does for us.  Showing gratitude and love to your body is a very effective way to improve the relationship that you have with your body and with yourself.  Gratitude has been shown to increase overall well-being and decrease anxiety and depression symptoms.  There are specific activities that you can do in order to show gratitude to your body.  Making a body gratitude list is a very effective way to practice gratitude towards your body.  Every morning (or night) write 10 things that you are grateful for about your body and continue to do so for 30 days. Practicing this activity regularly will help shift your overall attitude and relationship towards your body.

 

5. Commitment

Any major change requires commitment. If YOU want to improve your body image you are going to have to be committed to this goal. Now commitment comes in many different forms. In this instance I will focus on commitment as it relates to behaviors. When wanting to improve body image there are many behavioral changes that can help. Actively challenging negative body thoughts is a behavior that you can use multiple times a day. There are a few ways you can challenge negative body thoughts. A quick and easy challenge is to come up with an affirmation that you can implement when a negative body thought comes up. Some common body image affirmations are:

My body deserves love and respect

I will accept my body for what it is today

My body is the vehicle that lets me experience the world

My worth isn’t defined by my body

I am allowed to take up space

Love fills every inch of my skin

Challenging your thoughts can help you gain control, and retrain your brain to shift towards more body positive thinking.

 

Like I said before shifting your body image to a more positive outlook is challenging but it CAN be done. Remember that it takes time to change thinking patterns so be gentle with yourself and your thoughts throughout this process. The relationship you decide to have with your body is up to you! Even though at times it feels like you have no control just remember that your body is a vehicle that you control both physically, emotionally and mentally.

 

 

 

 

 

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Core Values

Let’s talk about core values! I like to call core values your roots. 🌳 They are the main things that keep you grounded and are a constant factor in your life. Identifying core values can be difficult. Staying true to those values can be even more challenging. We can easily be taken away from our values and influenced by society, the media and selfish gains. Take some time and think about what is REALLY important to you. What keeps you grounded and gives your life TRUE meaning?

Some common core values are fun, family, nature, honesty and commitment.
For a full list of hundreds of Core Values visit this site:
https://www.threadsculture.com/core-values-examples

For a quick and easy core values activity try and identify your top 10 core values!

This weekend I have the opportunity to be in Colorado 🏔 I have been snowboarding for 15+ years. It’s an activity that keeps ME grounded and connected to my core values.

 

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